I grew up at Pakistan and now work in KSA. It is amazing to see the variety of reasons expats quote for returning/not returning back home, and I guess it always is a decision an individual has to take himself given his specific preferences and circumstances…
Many people in the forum say security / law and order situation etc are the prime reason for not returning. For myself, though, I have observed it to be just the opposite. For example, consider hearing the news of some bomb blast at Lahore in two different settings: first-watching a satellite channel in jeddah, second-driving in Lahore in a vicinity close to an actual bomb blast. I felt much more paranoid and concerned for may parents and family when I was in jeddah, and was much more at peace with this world when in Lahore myself. How do you explain this?
If there be war, I would rather be home to protect what remains of it and the family, and I believe it is much more productive and less stressful then having to worry about the country and your family at a place where you can do almost nothing to help such a situation. Having to help the injured and even moving the dead of a bomb blast is better off than crying for them from far away in my opinion, if they are my loved ones… For myself, I would say odds are similar for me dying in a road accident overseas owing to someone elses fault and dying in a terrorist attack back home…

I salute you dear young Pakistani man for your truthfulness about the life of an expatriate in America. I myself am living in a gulf country for several years, although our problems may vary but the essence remains the same.

AH

I left Pakistan almost 30 years ago and see no reason to return permanently to Pakistan. The reasons cited by many other expats simply do not make sense to me:

1. To help Pakistan: Like other expats, I also want to help Pakistan but I believe that can be accomplished far better by earning the big $$$ in Western countries and investing/donating the money within Pakistan. Both Indian and Chinese expats have benefitted their countries greatly by investing back home and, more importantly, by working from within Western media, business and political establishments.

2. To ‘deWesternize’ the children: Here I agree somewhat with Syed Rizvi (July 2, 2:06) that parenting is primarily the responsibility of parents and simply moving to Pakistan will not solve anything. Pakistani youth is very attuned to Western media. MTV and HBO are popular in youth culture in all but the poorest socio-economic circles. All these expat parents who think that simply moving to Pakistan will save their children are deluding themselves; they haven’t got a clue about popular youth culture in Pakistan.

3. To preserve Islamic identity: I strongly believe in the statement by a British imam that British Muslims need to forge their own identity; not a Pakistani Islam or a Saudi Islam, but a British Islam. The same goes for other expats. At some point we Muslims need to realize that being a good Muslim does not require wandering the streets of London or New York in a jabba or burqa. A good Muslim can be a clean shaven Wall Street executive, or a lady Newscaster, or a lady doctor.

My father was transferred in a job posting overseas and we had very bad experiences when we tried returning to Pakistan.

My siblings could not get admission to decent Pakistani schools even though they had good marks from American schools. The reason is that nothing in Pakistan gets done without bribery or connections. We were openly asked to ‘contribute’ if we wanted admission to a reputable school in Karachi.

The other thing I noted personally was the strong resentment from many Pakistanis towards expats. India is starting to develop it’s own identity and pride, but Pakistanis still don’t have faith in our country. Most people can’t wait to get out of Pakistan and they seem to resent anyone who has managed to ‘escape’.

The post-colonial attitude is so deeply ingrained in our psyche, it even permeates our language. I am always amazed and saddened to see banners, signs and text (even in official media and government documents) which use English words, albeit in Urdu script. Almost all government institutions are named in English. Most government forms have English titles, written out in Urdu. And many upwardly mobile Pakistanis feel the need to pepper their conversations with English words as a sign of culture and erudition. It is a sad reality that we shun our beautiful national language Urdu, the language of poets and authors, in a subconscious homage to colonialism.

I was 9 years old when i moved to the u.s and have been living here since the past 17 years, and yet i still wan to move to pakistan. Don’t get me wrong. I am well educated, have a high paying job, have most of my family and close relatives living here, including aunts, uncles, and cousins. However, i know that life in the U.S is much more stressful and demanding. Here the bills never stop, so the work never stops either. Even if you are making six digit salary, you are still working like a dog, and not living a comfortable lifestyle. In Pakistan, if you are relatively well off (not rich but well off) you won’t have to work like a dog, you can enjoy traveling within pakistan going to muree, etc, and eating out etc. You won’t have to worry about the constant monthly bills, most likely you could afford a maid (can’t do that in the u.s even if you are making good salary). And lastly, you kids…and religion…is you religion really important to you or are you just pretending? Is your deen really the number 1 thing in your life, if it is then tell me, can you hear the adhan 5x a day in the u.s. Additionally, in Pakistan you will be a first class citizen, and in the u.s/UK you will be a second class citizen…in Pakistan no one will look at you even because you wife is dressing modestly with burkha…and you can go anywhere in pakistan without sticking out or feeling out of place. I know that in the U.S i can’t leave NYC, and go live in Alabama and feel the same. Even in NYC you are a second class citizen if you are not white. Lastly, i would like to ask what are we doing all this running around for, leaving the homeland of our ancestors to live in another country as second class citizens? Two things that define one’s standard of living are housing and food…if you can buy a big house in pakistan (and the food is automatically better) then what are you doing in a foreign country? Lastly, have we forgotten about Islam, and the after life that will last forever, as opposed to this life which we can’t count on our finger…

Dear ak,

I am not able understand that what was your point in objecting about the bombing of terrorist hideouts in the mountains and migration of Swat’s inhabitants to the safer places due to unavoidable military operation. Just for your kind information our army is not bombing the area indiscriminately but targeting & killing the terrorists only. Furthermore, due to the gravity of the situation and nature of the terrain, air force bombing was inevitable. The scale of insurgency is different is Swat and you can not compare it with the liberation movements in Kashmir & other parts of India.

Unfortunately, we still have a minority in Pakistan who supports and sympathizes with so called Taliban and try to safe them by giving arguments like yours. They try to project, as if the operation is not against terrorist but against the common people of Swat, which is totally baseless and misleading. Please don’t make up your mind on the similar lines. Rest assure that Gove. of Pakistan and Pak army care about their common citizens and military operation has been launched to make their own lives and property safe and secured.

We all Pakistanis value the sacrifices and suffering of all affected areas people and appreciate their cooperation and understanding in this regard.

For all those who are complaining about electricity and water, I will get you solar power for less than your property taxes in US/UK. For those who are worry about security, are you secure where you are now? Really? For those who are worry about corruption, I’ve lived in Pakistan for two years without paying Rs.1.00 in corruption. And those of my friends, who don’t like Pakistani traffic, how do you like L.A. or S.F. traffic (it takes me 45 min to travel over an hour in my sports car on 5 lane highway). Now, let’s talk about a more serious concern, our future generation. I am certain that in Pakistan you can get 90% kids completing their (private) schooling and get them to “good” colleges. How many parents have their kids (born/raised in UK/US) going to college (I am sorry Jr. College doesn’t count)? I would bet it is less than 25%, please be honest and do participate in this polling… I’d love to know the results.

The expat dilemma — how to eat the cake and keep it too.

The expat dilemma — how to exist as — “aadha teetar aadhi batair”.

The expat dilemma — not the ‘jet lag’ after an 18 hour trip — but the ‘millennium lag’ — after an overnight jump from JFK to Islamabad airport.

Expat dilemma — NOT “do in Mecca as the Meccans do’ – or not to ‘do in Rome as the Romans do’ — but do in Mecca as the Roman do — and do in Rome as the Meccans do.

Syed Ali Mehdi Saab,

Salaam. Thank you for responding to my email.

First let me give a little background about myself. I am an Indian Muslim( Ayesha Khan) who currently lives in US. My parents live in Gujarat. It is absolutely true that in 2002 riots (where 750 Muslims and 300 Muslims died over a period of 2 days) there was a lot of anger and fear in our community.

Things are different now. In 2007 elections, my parents voted for BJP (Modi’s party) as did many of their friends and acquaintances. BJP won seats in a fair election in many Muslim majority areas. Why? There have been no riots since then. The development has been the fastest in Gujarat amongst all places in India creating economic opportunities for all. The administration is completely free from corruption – which is such a rarity in India (As I am sure it is in Pakistan) and there is absolutely no discrimination against Muslims. The current IG of police in Gujarat is a Muslim, which also assures us that a similar situation will not recur.

Anyway, poor overpopulated countries like India and Pakistan will have insurgencies because the state does not have the capacity to deal with everyones’ grievances at the same time. So India has had insurgencies in Punjab, Kashmir, Assam just like Pakistan has had in (what was then East Pakistan), Balochistan Swat, Bajaur, Waziristan. The only difference is that in no circumstance has the Indian air-force bombed its own citizens – whether Kashmir, Punjab or Assam. Definitely there have been army presence and/or counterinsurgency operations. So I am not denying the need for the operation even in Pakistan and I salute the brave soldiers for their sacrifice. I am simply questioning the bombing since bombs do not have eyes and the civilian collateral is much larger. (12 million people from Bangladesh had moved to India in 1971 and 3 million people from Swat have been currently displaced. Last year, half a million people from Bajaur were displaced. This type of mass migration has not occurred i India due to absence of bombing. That is the aspect of security that I was referring to.

Hi Syed Ali Mehdi
first of all gujrat riots are reaction to some action, its not started on its own. so I don’t blame Gujrat riots as event that can be compared to what is going on pakistan today. I have so many muslim firends in india and we have discussed this so many times. All my muslim friends are enjoying very good IT and other job opportunities becuase of boom in India. Many openly say that becuase of the Indian passport they got opp to work in US in IT inspite of having muslim name ( from Pakistan to get US visa on passport takes 3 to 4 months). so you cannot compare on those lines..

“Young women also face a tough time owing to the societal pressure to marry –”

On this note, in Britain, apparently 70% of forced marriage cases handled by the Forced Marriage Unit involve British Pakistanis…

Luckily not the case with all overseas Pakistanis…but sad statistic nevertheless…

Its a rather optimistic article that gives a view of some expats. Though my own experiences and accounts from others have been rather negative.

Considering most online DAWN readers’ and Nosheen’s background, even my background, when we use the word ‘expats’ or ‘expatriates’ we generally mean middle-class to rich Pakistanis who’ve lived long overseas or even gained an additional citizenship (who will have the easier option to go back if their transition fails, compared to non dual Pakistani citizens such as those from the Middle East).

But what about the poor Pakistani expats, or even illegal Pakistani migrants? Such as in Iran,Turkey,ME and even the most unexpected countries like Japan? Would they be as happy to return and go through transitions which could be as difficult?

Unlike most of the upper expats, they lack flexibility and can’t choose to visit their families. What is their dilemma?

I read this article with interest since I am at the APPNA conference in San Francisco. There are a lot of well healed and well settled Pakistani doctors discussing events back home. Although we do tend to see Pakistan with rose colored glasses, the truth is that whatever problems Pakistan is facing is due to people like us. You can’t just leave your home and complain about its upkeep. We all have an interest in making a better Pakistan. Despite all of our challenges, It is really is a blessing and living abroad you realize how important it is to have a place you can identify with. People will always ask where are you from. Even the kids who are born here will be asked. No matter how much money you have, it means nothing if your kids marry outside their faith and culture and become lost like so many abraod. That’s why we are moving home too. You can’t put a price on character, self respct and identity in this global world. Thanks for a great article and helping me explain to the kids why we are going home after 35 years in the US.

I disagree with the term “coconut: brown on the outside and white on the inside” the world is now pretty much a melting pot not just USA. Whites are now a minority.

I believe that not all the expats would be having the same experiences, ones who are more flexible tend to adjust themselves according to the scenario. If you are moving abroad while you are studying or working or spending the early years of your married life there you do not have a lot at stake. The cruicial decision comes in when you have to decide where and how will the children be raised. You get stuck in the dilemma of a better future for your children at the expense of lost cultural values. The mental gap between parents and children tends to widen as they grow older. This mental gap hits you harder when you want to get your children married according to the traditional customs and to the person you think is RIGHT for your child without realising that years back you had sown the seed by your own hand. Expats returning back with their children wanting them to have a taste of their cultural values should know that one cannot be on two boats at a time and every action has an opputunity cost.

This is a timely article. However, it completely ignores the most important aspect of money. I think it focuses on those Pakistanis who decided to leave another country on their own wish rather than any other factor. Seems they planned and had enough money left with them to leave pakistan and live happily there. Only worries for them seems like cultures, dresses and other related stuff. From where are they getting money?
Just to add a small point, a land of gifted natural resources be it food, minerals or anything else. It has been wasted and is continously destroyed by our rulers who are imposed on us by the powers of this world.

It is very interesting to read the mixed views however I read views of the public non wotsoever of a leader. I think our country simply lacks leadership. Expatriats have so much to give to Pakistan but where have we found a leader amongst these disciplined citizens by the west?

My question is simple, those who have lived abroad have been disciplined they know the difference between right and wrong and they are aware of thier rights, then why not they educate the ones around them in Pakistan, don’t they have a duty for the knowledge they have been giveth to spread around or implement? how else you think other nations have developed? let me give you an honest answer, we are Selfish! giving money to our parents in pakistan “No Problem”, giving advice and educating the masses “Sorry, I’m too busy in my perfect life”.

There is one thing for sure, A Leader is an optimist and no wonder we are a nation of Passimists hence without a true Leader!

hi ak,

its true that pakistani troops are taking strong & effective measures to keep away the tailban. In this attempt they are doing raids inside the country also as a result of which our own people also at times gets effected for which we all feel bad. even our army says that the worst thing to do is to do an army operation inside your own country and on your own people. this is clear proof that they have to conduct this operation witha pinch of salt. we are with them.

referring to your statement that India never did anything bad to its own population is seen with much disagreement. I think you completely forgot about Kashmir. you also managed to overlook riots in Gujarat where the state was a silent spectator. infact they had strongly supported those acting against the muslim minority.
May be you will shift your stance once you get a panoramic view of the whole situation. (No Hard feelings Please)

I grew up in Islamabad and attended the International School of Islamabad, Pakistan. The school was owned by the American Embassy and only about 9% percent of the student population were Pakistanis. The rest were foreigners from all over the world and then of course, those Pakistanis who were raised abroad who were brought back to Islamabad for a 12 month get-to-know-your-culture shock therapy who attended our school as well. It was hilarious as these Pakistanis spent the first 4 months hating the country and refusing to adapt to our culture, then spent the next 4 months falling in love with Pakistan,a dn then spend their last 4 months crying about the fact that their year is coming to an end and that their parents are calling them back to the States.

However, it was difficult to see these youngsters who were living with their grandparents and without any real chaperone on their 1 year visit to Pakistan. Culture was forced upon them and they weren’t allowed to embrace it in their own time. THey were forced to eat, dress, and act like they were supposed to so the 1 year treatment would come into effect as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, this would usually backfire as the teenagers would end up rebelling and doing the complete opposite.

I’ve been away from Pakistan for about a decade now and am looking forward to moving back one day. I’m not sure when that will be but I know it will be difficult in the beginning – However, at the end of the day, there’s no place like home.

iam a pakistani living in UAE.

I don’t think any sane individual would put his chlidren’s lives at rish and willingly return to Pakistan.

i feel for the people who hav lost their jobs and wre forced to return or who had you daughters and wer forced to come back as the are afraid they will lose control of their children.

the moral of the story: almost every any one whoc came bak was forced to do it in one way or the other.

It’s interesting to read the article and the comments posted by every one. I was surprised that every one talked about the reasons to go back which focuses on their individualism.

Some times that’s not the right method, and it requires that one think beyond personal preferences and likings, and more in the context of global dynamics.

I have been living out of Pakistan for 9 years, and left when I was 18. But I always felt to go back not necessarily because I can’t fit where I am. I do!. This is another dilemma of Pakistan that they live in duality when they are outside stuck in between the cultural/social demands of their host country and of their native one.

What people generally fail to see is that being growing up in a society, using it’s resources (with out conscious recognition) and social/financial capital that get invested into ones livelihood. Every individual, not matter how individual one could be, takes lot from the society then it gives back. And those who spent their young lives in Pakistan, and then migrate else where for their own reasons or never returns, then basically it creates a permanent deficit in the human resource capital by losing out the education/professions a.k.a Brain Drain.

The economics of the industrial/developed economies depends on the constant flow of such brain drain from the developing countries where the migrants pays for their higher education (usually means international fees), taxes, and social securities.

Unless that human capital returns back to the native and adjusts the balances, the societies keeps lagging behind.

Let’s take the example of China. China is right now going through it’s golden age where all of its foreign dispora is simmering with desire to return as “back home” represents progress and development.

But when the home country is in the mess and midst of insurgencies/wars, then it takes will and determination to return on the basis of historical/social reasons rather then individualistic ones.

Thanks for reading,

Omer Khalid
Geneva, Switzerland

Many of the problems facing an Indian expat returning home are very similar to a Pakistani expat returning home e.g. serious infrastructure problems, VIP culture, corruption, high cost of real estate etc.

However in some areas, the transition is easier for Indian expats – e.g. good jobs due to rapidly growing economy, security (throughout India’s history, the Indian government has never bombarded its own citizens), women’s rights, an access to entertainment (no-one is going around destroying video shops or threatening theatre owners or bus drivers that show movies).

For this reason more expats are able to successfully transition back to India compared to Pakistan.

Its like painting the issue with golden brush! No one would want to come back if they had a choice? Would u want ur child to amid bomb blast even if the child is with nanny?

An interesting article indeed. Most people who I know moved back to Pakistan because they had too. Pakistan is not what it used to be. The expats I believe (which includes me as I have lived in the middle east and Canada) are more “Pakistani” than alot of the actual Pakistani’s that are living there.I don’t mean to be negative or skeptical but the society in Pakistan is very different. Its a rat race over there and its unnessicarily competitive and everyone is busy in showing off their wealth to one another. They may be able to read and write urdu perfectly, but they treat the country poorly. The youngsters act like young thugs, treat the road like their garbage can, are overly pessimistic saying “pakistan is like this, you can’t change it.” YES WE CAN! It starts with a simple thing as obeying the traffic laws/ laws in general and being courteous and nice towards others. It will take time but if you act properly, the person in front will realize and start to act properly. It starts from one person and will spread. I have seen it. Germany emerged as a powerful nation after two world wars. Our country has the skills. We just need some people who are willing and able to change to start the trend towards success. Think about how your actions will effect others and stop saying “we will never change”, stop convincing yourself of this useless fallacy. Just keep doing your part as a pakistani.

Well written article… covers all the issues in a casual, accurate and comprehensive manner

Nice topic BTW, looking at both sides of picture, I would only say two things about why people want their kids to bring up in Pakistan is to inject our (i would say islamic) values in them so by the time they grew up they would not forget their idiological affiliations………Now the quiestion arieses is Pakistani society or system is closer to Islam or the American?…I would prefer my kids (I wish I would have some day Inshallah) to be brought up in Pakistan, I hate a 100% materialistic society though we have so many other luxeries here….God Bless my country from TBs and corrupt rulers….

One of my Uncles, while attending a wedding ceremony never congratultes to newly wed couple or their parents. Once I asked him about such a rude behaviour, he told me that I will congratulate them after two years, if the the couple is still happily married and haven’t kicked out their parents from their lives. Same is true for expatriate Pakistanis.
Many people make emotional decesions, but later regret it. Few of my friends moved to Pakistan but later regretted it. One of my friends moved from England with his family and settled in Islamabad. He took two steps, which I advise no expatriate should ever take, First one is to build a new house and second one is to start any business venture. Thanks to his relatives, friends, Home contractors and business partners, within two years he returned to England as a pauper with broken heart.

I migrated to NewZealand 5years ago with my family ( wife and 2kids)
we visit pakistan every year for 4wks in december.
world is global village and grass always looks greener on th eother side
It is difficult to move back to pakistan ,as in the last 5yrs,things have changed back home

Khan

Nitin:
I don’t agree with your views .. actully I know many people who lived in US for more than 20 yrs have returned back to india and they are very successful in their careers. we had some class of people who joined IT in India very early (smart decison) instead of ocming to US on H1 are much more succesful in terms of Money, positon etc. the point is you and person keeping such views are not at all required by India (neither anyone requesting nor anyone forcing you) as you are not at all to be considered Brain which has drained. Brain drain for India could be Nandan Nilkeni, or Azim Premji or Dr Abhay Bang , Manmohan singh & many others kind of people wuold have decided to stay abroad which was very easy for them then you.. so it does not matter whether you return back or not. in this US economy you even not having any choice of staying here as If you loose job you will not get another one …needless to say . I am also staying in US, however I have different views.

Good article. we are currently living in UK and thinkning of coming back to Pakistan and this article has helped us take a decision

Should I laugh on this article???? It is not at all practical….whoever has written done zero homework……..
why we live as an expatriate anywhere in the world? for better prospects naturally money money and this is missing in the whole article.

If you decide to live a city like Karachi you need a home my fellows….and just for your information an apartment will not cost less than 130k USDollars…cash since we dont have any job in Pakistan.
A house will cost you around 225k US Dollars minimum.

How will you start your life after spending this much only @ buying house.

For sure not everyone will get 100k per month pakistani rupees Job.
It means you need another 400K to 500k US Dollar investment somewhere either in Canada/USA/Britian to get you going on a monthly basis.

Do you guys have this much cash ??
this is almost 500k to 650k US Dollars…

I get very sad and depressed every time I go to Pakistan. I see beggars carrying 6 month old babies in the middle of day under scorching sun. I see trash every where. I see no law and order. I see corruption. I see no businesses paying taxes. I see broken roads. I see rich people driving Landcruise Parados. I see no rights for women.

Such a beautiful country destroyed by the very people living in it.

well, i fully agree wit AM comments, myself have lived in different parts of the world, worked on cargo ships when i was real young and travelled most of the world, then to middle east, europe, and now in US. Here I have my own insurance business and it was pretty easy to setup except hard work.
Try to set up a business in any of the south asian country, GOOD LUCK..
enjoyed your article Nosheen,
good day all

What ever situations Nosheen has described for the expats settlement in Pakistan are quite focused in a way that most of those people have gone back to Pakistan due to one of the serveral personal reasons.

The basic reason for return per Nosheen research has been kids growing up therefore, move back to Pakistan?

I totally dis-agree on this perspective. During my several decades living in the USA our family’s fundamental priority to brought up our three kids has always been very focused and specific. After the school my wife used to read Quran alongwith the kids and I was responsible to narrate the Prophet’s Traditions on different occassions with the kids. Now, the kids are of 25 years average age and have University degrees with solid businesses and Banking jobs in the USA. All three of them can say Salaat and easily adopt to the Islamic traditions. Two of them married with Muslim spouses and have children and live happily!

Nosheen look, My wife and I have never been Mullah. She is a fiction writer and I work for a high ranking Financial Consultancy Company as State Head of Texas.

The difference is that we both have post graduate degrees and moreover, have utilized thousands of hours to bring-up our kids according to Islamic Lifestyle and large number of PLuses of the Amercian culture like – Honesty, Integrety, Truth, Family background, Love for Family, Decisions according to merits, etc.

Unfortunately, most of our country men who have moved to Europe and USA are not truely educated and or totally ignorant of the ground realities of today’s world. First, they allow there kids to act and react like a westener,since the parent could barely speak or understand English or any other language. They feel very proud of there kids behaviour however, when they reach a teenager’s age segment it is simple to understand that without being his/her fault the kid reacts like a typical local kid.

There the parents who take decision to go back to pakistan. This approach could be detramental and devastated for any kid in this world?

A Typical Pakistani parent thinks about himself and not for the benefit of their kids!

Problems faced by returning expats be it in Pakistan or India are just the same just that the metality of the two greatly differ.

Its a hard fact of life that sooner or later, every expatriate has to return to his/her homeland or the birth place of his/her parents. The sooner the better otherwise it might be too late for you and your family to return back to your roots, friends, loved ones, relatives as well as culture, history and heritage.

I will urge all Pakistanis living abroad to show their real guts and grid by executing their actual return to the land of the pure notwithstanding the looming internal and external challenges.

After all, there are more than 180 million brave and courageous people living in that beautiful country and somehow, they are making the ends meet. Why not join them and take the brunt of rough and tough living over there?

Pakistan Zindaa Baad. People of Pakistan, Paeendaa Baad.

I have been in Canada for 42 years, and had never once considered returning to Pakistan. Why should I or anyone else go back if there is no security for ones life or wealth. I smile at those who profess to return in order to protect their children (mainly daughters) from the “temptations” abroad. But he does not admit to having partaken the very same temptation himself. Children see the double standard and rebel.

In 42 years I have visited Pakistan regularly but have seen no visible improvement in life of common man. Recently BBC ran an expose on the rich and indulgent of Pakistan. Those who while away afternoons at spa, fancy salons and extravagant restaurants. It contrasted jarringly with those huddled beneath tin roof, without water and necessities of life. No wonder there is demand for shariah (harsh but just), because there is no justice. Talibination is the direct reaction to massive corruption in the society. Now the army is bombing its own citizens, what is there to come back to? No thanks, I am better off where I am. Salaam.

i would honestly love to go back to Pakistan andlive there. Infact i was DJ’ing in Pakistan and had an amazing time there. The only thing that made me leave the country was security (late night harrasments by cops) and inadequate facilities, load shedding etc. Wht i see from this forum is tht we only complain and crib but dont do anything about it…Our present Govt is eating Pakistan alive and wht are we doing about it? NOTHING….y cant we all just make our country a better place by actually making an effort…all we do is just badmouth about our country but dont do jack about it. Its high time we do something otherwise Pakistan will soon bcom like Afghanistan.

I entirely agree with Ali Raza when he says that there is “no reference to the current situation facing Pakistanis.” Nausheen, while I have always found the topics of your blog to be very interesting, I sometimes find you scratching only the surface. The security concerns, the rise of religious fundamentalism, the corruption at all levels of government, the fact that one does not know whether one should be more afraid of the bandits or the police, one’s rights if he does not know someone who knows someone who is connected, are all realities that you are apparently absolutely unaware of.

One of the torture methods is sleep deprivation. We are willing to come out in masses to protests such atrocities, usually by burning the cars and shops of our own countrymen. Yet my elderly parents in Pakistan go through a similar ordeal every night when KESC cuts off electricity in the middle of the night. Emotional attachment to ones motherland is good, but we must be realistic first.

some of you commenter are exaggerating the extent to which Pakistanis are extremists

yes we do have some extremists in the country (obviously not ‘Islamist’ extremists since their actions have exposed their colours)

security concerns yes of course it is an issue……which is why govt. should continue fight against taleban

we should replace 4 million refugees with 4 million talented Pakistani expats who can bring honour to the country instead of drugs

For all those thinking of moving back to Pakistan:

Pakistan is no longer the place you left, say 5-10 years ago;

Shortages of every kind (power, food, fuel) abound;

Summers were never easy, now thanks to incessant loadshedding, they have become intolerable; BTW winters have become intolerable too with low gas pressure where that facility exists.

Street crime has spiked. You’d be deprived of your mobile or purse/wallet anywhere anytime;

Roads (at least in urban areas) have imporved a lot but traffic has gone wild;

Entertainment is only for a fortunate few. Cinemas are fast becoming extinct, no quality Pakistani movie has come out lately, parks and holiday destinations are overcrowded, louts one-wheeling on busy roads or loitering in markets/parks would let no opportunity pass to throw lewd comments on anyone remotely resembling a female, majority of cable channels either screen sentimental soaps or inane political talk shows.

University education is a shame, high school a confusion (private schools teach a concoction of syllebi from all corners of the world, government schools just follow what they have been following for the last forty years)

Civil service is anything but civil. The best course of action is to find someone known to you or your uncle or your uncle’s friend or his friend’s cousin and request him to get the job done. If that’s not possible, money could be an option. Attempts at egovernment have been half-hearted and except NADRA nowhere to be seen.

Where one stands on this issue is a matter of personal choice. I would think that the more conservative amongst us would favor moving back. There is no doubt that the cultural aspects in the West are worrisome. The more liberal amongst us would probably favor staying back. The paucity of personal freedom is our societies is suffocating.

I lean on the liberal side. There are glaring problems with our culture that we tend to ignore. Throughout our upbringing we are made to believe that culturally as well as on religion, we are the most perfect, and we do not focus on our wrongs. We do not admit to our shortcomings, we are not truthful about our mistakes and we blame others for our lack of progress. This leads to distorted values, which, I believe, our society is suffering from. At individual levels, there is too much interference in the affairs of others (and each other – what goes around comes around). Freedom of expression is not encouraged and expressions must be compliant with the established religious and cultural values.

I fully sympathize with those, specially the youth, who have difficulties adjusting to the life after returning to their home country.

Nice article! I would only like to add that even if you are in England/US you can have your own little pakistan wherever you live. I see my cousin’s children studying in Faith School, they having Geo and Star tv at thier house and celebrate Eid and other festivals along with other pakistani relatives nearby.

What I would like to see is contribution to one’s homeland. Imagine if Quaid, Gandhi or Allma Muhammad Iqbal hadn’t been to financially/educationally thriving countries of thier times? This is the cirlce of life and such behaviour is eminent.

I believe situation in pakistan will continue to improve inspite of all aching and trouble, Pakistan is awakening from a long troublesome sleep. Media is on thier toes, people are more aware of thier rights and atleast protesting before they are actually dead.

It is the right time to move to pakistan and contribute, pakistan is modernized quite already so you will not experience a cultural shock but only improvement. And the confidence you get by living in a first world country can only help you in making things better as you’d have the courage and means to make the change!

Tabish.

I will consider expats to have truly moved back when they renounce their foreign citizenship, hand back their passports. As long as they cling to their foreign citizenship, they are merely expats in Pakistan – knowing full well that they can run away if things get hot. An option unavailable to most Pakistanis.
This is a tale of hypocrisy.

nice to read all the comments and the main text. I am agree with kumrram’s comment just to be back for a while as it take ages to to adjust back to roots. Just enjoy hlidays and spend bit like a tourist and then go back to work for next trip sad but very true.

We Hindus have this concept of “Karmabhumi” roughly translated “the land of (your) Karma (deeds)”.

Very comforting notion as world gets smaller and population mobile, transient, migrantion is the norm.

Recently I read about an architect in Brazil with Indian name, claiming to be from the UK. Turns out his parents went to the the UK in the 50s from Africa and his grand parents had gone to Africa from India in 30s.
It was thus two thousand years ago and it would continue to be so.
Nostalgia is all right, wanting to go back that is altogether a different story.

For any educated expat, who has lived in a western country for any significant period of time, and has breathed the air of freedom, adjustment in Pakistani society, with its daily violence, murder and mayhem, pervasive religiosity and intolerance is going to be impossible no matter what the euphoric initial reaction. This is doubly true for the teenagers and younger children who would find the environment totally stiffling and the expectations of a ‘proper’ good behavior hard to adopt.

A vast majority of such people eventually return to the foreign land which they abandoned for the romantic nostalgia driven idea of return to their homeland which is fast unraveling.

I love the topics you tickle with, Nosheen. Many expats take their country for granted and choose to keep their children away from it, but when it comes to marriage, they like to see their children marry among their compatriots. How can their children know about being a Pakistani without knowing the country? I mean knowing the by living, growing up and going to school there.

What tripe!! Its just a fit of nostalgia that makes you go back for a visit, and because its a visit, relatives are on best behaviour, your kids’ “Westernisation” is ignored politely, you NEVER get to deal with the government, and ami abu kiss you on the forehead like every 45 seconds. And you start to think “hey, this is not so bad, now is it”? And then you MOVE. And the dream pops. Relatives think your daughter is too “seductive” for their boys, your son is too opinionated, ami abu keep telling you to “reign them in”, every govt. deptt. wants its palms greased just cuz you have a few pounds/dollars/euros that you saved by slaving away at un-godly hours, and most of the time you’re eating into your savings… till you decide to hump it back to the UK/US/Eurozone.
My suggeston: visit every winter, enjoy the parties and attention, drain your nostaliga pangs, and go back to work.

WHEN I VISIT INDIA FROM AFRICA EVEN I FEEL I AM IN DIFFERENT WORLD.YOU FEEL SUFFOCATED.People in africa i would say are more disciplined and well behaved.Even if a policeman here stops you he first greet you which is unimaginable in india.THE IASlobby has created so much oof red tapism which is shameful for a person coming from overseas.

good artical.

but to all my message is stop being negative and try to find positive things in our country and I am sure there are many positive opportunities in pakistan to be explored.

A Pakistani from inside out.

A good article.Well done Nosheen. Being a Pakistani living in UK, i would love to move back to Pakistan along with my family.Only thing which bothers me is high property values in Pakistan.It is not easy to buy a house in islamabad/rawalpindi.Here in UK we can get mortgage relatively easily, but unfortunately in Pakistan, big cash is needed to buy a house.I could move to small city but then there are few jobs in small cities and education of my kids will be compromised as well.

Excuse Me! I have been out of Pakistan for a number of years ALHAMDULILLAH. I got married and with the blessing of Allah have children also. the problem is that during the period of my absence from the country there have been many changes in Pakistan. really we could not keep pace with the changing talibanistaion in our motherland. we could not get used to of the hooliganism that has increased to a very high scale. It really is impossible for us to cheat our own brethren. moreover we do not how to send our children to school and not worry for their safe return. thugs thievs pick pocets were there when i was in Pakistan but now I believe that dacoits ring the door bell and ask demand money.
as we have not changed at all if we come to Pakistan we would be looking complete fools or something like country bumpkins or provincial cousin. no we do not to settle in Pakistan coz it is no more the country that it once used to be. we are very old fashioned.

Great Article.
The best time for a family to move to pakistan is when kids are 10 or younger.
Once kids enter their teenage years its really hard for them to adjust to a different surroundings.

I’ve been living in London for the last four years and although life is pretty good out there, I would love to eventually return to Pakistan.

I would happily put up with problems such as load shedding, water cuts, a lower income, etc., but one thing I don’t want to compromise on are the mullahs. I don’t want to return to Pakistan to be surrounded by mullahs and mullah sympathisers, which sadly includes a very large percentage of our population.

Nice article Nosheen,

Culture plays a very important role when we expats move back to pakistan.

We need to compromise with indifferent values, ethics and work standard. It is our country but we know how it treats when it comes to testing times like unemployment, illness, depression and others etc.

think rationally and not emotionally before taking any decision.

One of the readers talks about moving back to expose children to religon. What religon? In Pakistan there are those who are either beyond the realm of religon or those who agree with those so called muslims that agree with talibanization or belong to tableeghs. I love pakistan and grew up in the upper crust socially, but while I miss my country I dont’ think that moving back in order to expose my children to religion is the answer for me. I would rather teach them religion at home in addition to teaching them how to respect and accept other religous beliefs as Islam intends us to.

The main concerns for the expats wants to move back home Pakistan is the general security situation, lack of basic amenities of life like electricity etc. On top of it a secured and reasonably well paid job. All these issues stopping a thousands of Pakistanis to return to their homeland. They keep thinking and discussing this desire over the period of time, but can not make a decision. After all there are a lot of advanctages also in living in Pakistan.

The author did not mention any details about Pakistanis living in gulf. The article mainly focuses Pakistani expats living in Europe and America. Which makes it a bit incompelte.

Lovely article which had me knodding and shaking my head at the same time.

The expats bring with them great ideas. And Pakistanis who lived and grew up in Pakistan and know the system/mentality can learn from them; while also teaching the expats the family values and cultural norms which we are known for.

In fact, I am always so proud to see that Pakistanis are doing well over-seas. I just look forward to the day they come home and bring with them their acquired knowledge and skill-sets.

Government must create incentive for them to come home to their vatan.

You can take a Pakistani out of Pakistan…..
……
….

But you damn-well can NEVER take the Pakistan out of the Pakistani.

God bless this country.
God bless the people.
God bless the Army.

-Turri Khan

i share the views with deewana.

salaam i have been living in u.s. for 33 yrs…if pakistan can somehow get electricity, water, and security for all, then we living outside of pakistan are ready to come back and invest heavely…and i speak for many pakistanis living in the u.s…thanks for reading..

It is great to visit but to live there is not so easy. The infrastructure, the VIP culture, the security situation can be dauting barriers.

Still, I love the land and the people. I wish that we could make it better for all those who are living there – not just the rich.

As always, well written article Nosheen. Once we realize that there is worldwide more violence today then ever been and people are not safe regardless of where they live. Crime rate is higher no mater where you look. And if we work nearly as hard as we (expat) work in West, we can have better living standard. People in Pakistan will not agree with me on this one, but we do work longer (up to 16 hours), and with higher pace. I have seen my relatives and friends “working” in Pakistan and it seems as they are running in “slow motion”. The only thing they really work hard at is “complaining” about. Because of this, I feel that Pakistan provides most potential for expats to start a business and excel at it than “employment”.

I think the author needs to do some research. Trying to settle back in Pakitan is easy to say. The problem starts right from the airport. If you are spared, it will grow to such an extent that the same spirit that made you to return will reverse. My family was chased during a recent visit to Pakitan from the airport. Gunmen demanded money, but my family somehow survived.

Someone will eventually get to you thinking since you have lived abroad, there is some juice in you to be taken out. You or your family will get harmed in the process.

Jobs.. Forget about it. Your friends that stayed home are in a way better situation. It is hard to find a job and if you may get one, you will be coming home after 9:00 pm with no time for family.

You family members and friends will curse at you saying that you are crazy, why you have returned home, have you seen anyone going into a building where there is a fire…

When you will stand in line to order at McDonalds, you will be shy (due to money conversion factor) while a hand will come and grab food for Rs 4000, no quetions asked.

The system itself will not let you to settle, bribery, chaos in lines, no attention unless you know someone are a few examples as you are not used to these anymore since you left the country.

The kids in Pakistan are more advanced and do a number of things that you can imagine like drugs, etc…..and you want you kids to be friend with them. Parent do not have time for kids in Pakitan anymore.

Think, I tried it once and it failed and it will fail again as things have changed in your absence…that you are not used to anymore or never will…

I would rather stay where I am. If I am wearing one shirt the whole week, no one cares or if I am eating Onion Bread, there are no questions asked. These minor things in Pakistan will take you into Depression. Think twice before it is too late, compare pros and cons and make an educated decision as there is no coming back

A Pakitani from USA

I am a doctor and had an opportunity to work in UK, Middle East and North America.No matter how much you earn here somehow after certain time you start missing every thing from relatives, food etc.I know there are lot of things like security and financial issues one has to consider but life here is also full of stresses with no help from anyone.Few might not agree but I have seen and felt many financially well settled but psychosocially very depressed.I am talking about the doctors belonging to the elite class.They want to go back but they say its too late. I am therefore taking my family back next month.

I am not sure it is deliberate but writer failed to understand the single most reason of expatriate return is to expose their children to Islamic values (not Pakistani culture).

An excellent idea to start with. A process, which our neighbor country tried and succeeded . If we want to join the race with other world, we have to brought up our families with stronger links to Pakistan. But first of all you cannot jump from hot to cold water or vice versa. We have to developed our bodies and minds accordingly. The best way to do it , develop the link (businesses or reasons) and then let the family go back and forth.

This is an interesting read. However, I think it only touches issues at the surface instead of looking at deeper issues young individuals or families face when they return home (by choice or otherwise)and the comments which are driven out of them. Why do parents force their daughters to wear dupattas when it is the norm in many places in Pakistan not to do so? is it merely what they think is required in order for their kids to be accepted socially or does it reflect a deeper sense of insecurity? Is there any truth to the fact that many in Pakistan have a ‘put others down’ attitude and if so, why? Why do women in Pakistan need curfews or certain dress codes in their own country while they are much safer abroad? what do all these statements or questions reflect about our society..These are the questions such situations beg and our society needs to start thinking about these in order to arrive at any answers.

I think this article is niether thought provoking nor poorly written. It states the simple facts of life for people who try to readjust in their culture. I live in Canada and see lots of families going through the same challenges. What I feel is that parents shold realize that they can only do so much (so be little less possessive). There are always going to be things which would be beyond them. I personally believe that for a middle class (which ofcourse is gigantic) it is good to move abroad in terms of financial benefits and opportunities. No culture or society is perfect. They all have their pros and cons. We generally have more pre-concieved notions so it is hard to evolve and accept.

M TAUSEEF BARLAS,

You cant teach anyone the art to make movies.. I fail to understand how a non-secular society like pakistan can make movies..? what will the movies be about?? They have lots of potential for documentaries,thats for sure.. but movies requires secular culture..
I’ll give you an example most of the movies out of Bombay and Hollywood are love stories.. but aren’t love stories diametrically opposite to the pakistani culture where a woman doesn’t have a choice in marriage?? India can make movies on ANY topic.. I repeat ANY.. but pakistan cannot..

The fundamental problem is, you CANNOT have the best of both worlds. There are pro’s and con’s of living in pakistan or moving abroad. You have weight them yourselves and make a decision.

Electricity/security vs family values, friends, and all the fun stuff of pakistan. Unfortunately, you can’t have both.

As far as adjustment is concerned, people make a big deal of it. You had to adjust when you moved out of pakistan didnt you? similarly you have adjust when moving back.

Nausheen you are doing a wonderfull job of bridging the gap between Pakistan and expats from various countries.You should also tell pakistanis why and how expats are useful to pakistanfrom both economical and educational point of view. Right now there is big dark gap of ignorance between pakistanis living abroad and local pakistanis. God bless you

Sorry it makes no sense to return to Pakistan where people are being killed all over the place. It is too unsafe to live in Pakistan. Without improvement in the law and order situation, people can’t function.

As an Indian living abroad, I haven’t faced any overt racism (yet!) to warrant a move back to India. But countries in the south Asian continent be it Pakistan, India, Bangladesh, Nepal or Sri Lanka are all in the same boat (more or less) when it comes to problems like security, lack of infrastructure job opportunities.

Though India fares better from a job oppurtunity perspective, but the thought of going back to Delhi after staying in Seattle is a bit unnerving. Getting used to muddy roads, total infrastructure collapse after a rain and traffic jams is something which seems so alien to me now.

Plus like one of the other readers mentioned, dealing with corruption and red-tape and babu culture, just makes you wanna run back screaming.

The only other reason I can think of is introducing our kids to the culture and food and language. Luckily, Seattle has a sizable Indian population and we regularly have potlucks and cultural programs to help our kids maintain their own unique identity.

So until the security, infrastructure and red-tapism is taken care of, they don’t make a very strong case for expatriates to move back permanently.

I visit India from time to time and it is a great change. But living their for an extended time is not something I am planning to do any time soon.

Another good article by you Nosheen. As I mentioned in my comments the last time that I am planning on moving back sometimes early next year from New York. It would be tough to resign from a very nice job I have and the environment but I after visiting Lahore almost every year I feel that I would not have any adjustment problem.

Moving to pakistan for what? At what cost?
Just to sizzle in the heat for 24 hours a day and having no electricity for more than half that time, to have the luxur of getting robbed the moment your plane lands in Pakistan or to be extremely lucky at not getting killed in a mobile snatching crime!
I think when people say quality of life then Pakistan for sure is probably the least down. We dont have water,electricity,gas in cities like Karachi lest to talk about the villages. Atleast here you dont have to contend with all of such even though you live like second class citizens but atleast you have 1st class quality of life.

I’m a cop in NYC, I have a good salary, benefits, retirement plan and during these economic times, job security but lately there’s something that just feels like something is amiss and I just feel like moving to Pakistan. I been contemplating about that but there are so many aspects I gotta look at, my job being one of them, so we’ll see.

when you immigrate from pakistan you gain 1. security 2. quality and almost free education for you and your children 3. in canada free medical care 4. evry thing like utilities work.4. overall success for your abilties. now you loose the following. 1.your relatives. 2. your culture. 3. in course of time your religion. 4. your language. 5. your overall way of life. well the choice is yours!!

nosheen should find out people who want to be part of pakistani dream which does not work for them.

The dream is always is things will become better in another country. the fsmaily will get rich spiriturally, health wise and wealthier.

Which all pakistani in pakistan think when they leave for jobs abroad.

There are tales of families moving back to pakistan to instil values and also get cheap education and the kids despising it.

Most people should understand before they leave what would have happen if they went to pakistan for themselves.

Especially how in this current economic situation can a pakistan person returning get a job in pakitsan.

well written article. we need to make good movies. i believe that we can compete with indian movies provided we start training our people for this work. for this, we need colleges/univerisities.

As quite a lot of people have raised the question of security, I think it is and will remain a prime concern. But that is not just it. For those who are well settled (I am not talking about the ones described by deewana in his comments) other problems arise as well the prime question (ofcourse after security) is what are they going to do for living? Other problems, in my opinion are secondary. We will have to adjust according to our surrounding for the rest. Personally, I am settled abroad for 20 years and have tried to move back 3 times in last 8 years. I tried to buy or even start up a completely new business. My last visit 3 years ago was 8 months long in which I tried my best to find a way around to get settled but finally had to retreat. I would not go in to details but apart from security situations, there are lots of other aspects that have to be taken care of starting with administration’s red tape and bribing. I am not completely dishearted but things are not so simple for the expats to decide homecoming.

I think the ideal thing for any person who is living abroad for any reason would be to keep him/her in such a position that you are able to get the best of both the worlds.

it will only be possible if the expat community develops avery good co-ordination amongst themselves and help each other in achieving this goal.
Thanks
Pervez

Indeed, we all ‘leave’ the country, to look for opportunities,denied in the homeland and perhaps to enjoy a ‘better quality of life’ and a sense of security.
If the individual has to generate his own Elictricity, buy his own Water, and pay for his security, what is the Governement doing?
the hankering to go HOME, and to be with friends and family never stops.

I am born and brought up in Dubai. But living here for around 25 years makes no difference to me to return to Pakistan. The only issue in Pakistan according to me is lack of Job Security in Private Organizations. If they can pull themselves up, even if they pay less salary one can think of moving to Pakistan and i am seriously considering the option seeing the Recession hits abroad.

Yes a real thought provoking for not only those who are planning to move back to ‘home’ but for also those who are planning to migrate and expected to or have kids specially teenagers.

As Shahid said “the extent to which expats adjust depends on which circles they move in” is so very true and with pros there are always cons all we need to discover is to which extend we can adjust or even compromise.

Cheers

A remarkably poorly written article. It had little substanceand no reference to the current situation facing Pakistanis. How can you write about expats going back to Pakistan without touching upon the law and order situation? Pakistan stands on the edge of a precipice and the author writes an article that pays no attention to this issue at all. The security situation is the first and foremost issue that any expat family would think about before worrying about the other factors.

The author has written about problems that would be faced by anybody comming from abroad. the main problem is availability of basic necessisties of life. like water,electricity and various health issues. once i visit to pakistan, i feel very bad to see sufferings of ordinary pakistanis. in pakistan we have best minds but the race/hunger to become rich by every individual has made the systems corrupt. who suffers is the COMMON MAN.

A good article. The author needs to write more fequently on this issue as many expats need not know personal experiences before they make decisions for themselves. I do plan to move my family back to Pakistan but the biggest worries are law and order and extremism in the country. Poverty has corrupted the entire society which affects each and every individual. Kids cannot go to school because of fear of attacks. I have met many Pakistanis who are trying their best to migrate to other countries as they consider Pakistan is no longer a safer place for their children.

A thought provoking article for those who are nostalgic about their motherland,away from values and culture.I have been out of India for the last 8 years.Everytime children visit India they bring back wonderful memories of food, culture, traditions and relations.Since my children are still young I use the opportunity to imbibe a sense of attachment to their motherland so that they can adjust when they come back and do not find the place alien. Actually a lot depends how one grooms the children in early years.Mad traffic, loadshedding, pollution, cultural shocks and corruption all are part and parcel of life which one has to bear with in his native land.

Surely its a struggle for expatriates who want to settle back in Pakistan.But the most important aspect the law and order situation.

The connection expats have with Pakistan is mostly via the setellites channels who every hour beam breaking news, and one gets shivers.

On the other hand when you talk on phone with your family they seem to be fine and dont paint such a gloomy picture.

But the fact of the matter is that law and order has to be improved with this all the investment and prosperity will return Insha Allah.

nice article. i have spent half of my lifetime outside pakistan. though there are many advantages of living abroad, there are many disadvantages as well. there was a report which stated that, pakistani parents living in uk might have earned loads of money, got expensive cars, big houses but they have lost their children (im sure everyone knows wht it is). even if you live all your life here, you would be called paki-american, british pakistani, aussie or canadian of pakistani origin AND you,ll always feel an outsider no matter how hard you try to convince others

very nice and worth reading article.
Its all depend on you that which culture you want to adopt either you are living in pakistan or in other country.