The Fifa World Cup is underway and like many other nations, Pakistanis are enthusiastically watching matches, cheering for their favourite teams and organising football get togethers (GTs in urban elite lingo). Although we have come some way in embracing this sport from mere viewers to actual participants, both at home via domestic tourneys (Pakistan Premiere League), local city leagues to regional international matches like the SAFF Cup (South Asian Football Federation), we still have a long way to go before we can qualify for the main event. Currently, we rank at thirty-fifth among the teams in South Asia. Even so, the spirit and passion for this sport is growing and why wouldn’t it? Football is a poor man’s game and requires not much other than a football which we are adept at producing in the millions in Sialkot.
There seems to be a dearth of understanding as to what the world cup teams and their characteristics are about in Pakistan and so, I thought it would be pertinent to introduce them in reference to our cricketing gods so we know what the commentators on TV are always screaming about.
1. Brazil
They are the Wasim Akram of the football world. This team has done it all and achieved it all. They have unmatched skill with the ball, they can dance well both, on and off the field and have fans all over the world, but they yet have to grace Indian reality shows.
They are the favourites each time they play and have a tendency to not being able to defend a lot of unexpected movement in the air, focusing only on attack.
2. England
Most similar to Shahid Afridi – they performed brilliantly in one world cup and were the champions back in 1966. Even though they have rabid fan base, acute media hype and coverage up the wazoo, they are unable to achieve much on the international stage. The team has also appeared in a number of endorsements in print and electronic media, much like Afridi.
3. North Korea
Like Shoaib Akhtar, the team is egotistical and is controlled by god knows whom. They are most secretive in holding closed practices and claim to have the ability to conjure miraculous feats while in actuality, achieving nothing. Not yet established in Bollywood but hoping to break into form at any given time for the last 10 years.
4. Spain
Closet Misbah Ul Haq behaviour – loaded with talent and skill having displayed it all throughout the league stages of any tournament but fail at the grandest stage. And yes Misbah, we still remember that paddle-scoop of disaster against India and we will make sure you do as well.
5. Argentina
Muhammad Asif personified. Oodle’s of skill, an almost mesmerising ability to entertain when on song but most of the time, trip or fall on obstacles conjured in their own minds. Drug issues, check. Ego, check. Ability to be gods or walk off a cliff, check!
6. Italy
Can be compared to Younis Khan. A history of success, great presence on the roster but very divisive to its fans, you either love Italy or hate them, there is nothing in between. Also, like Khan, the team displays the same mood swings, temper and flair both on and off the field.
7. USA
Umar Gul-like skill, but for them to be noticed on the world stage is the same – negligible. They try very hard, can cause plenty of upsets but whether they do or don’t, no one seems to give a damn.
8. Germany
Exactly like Imran Khan – strong team values, they attack as a unit, making a science out of the beautiful game, very strong mental attitude and dedication, almost clinical at times. Their only flaw is too much confidence which has lead to their own downfall.
Faisal Kapadia is a Karachi-based entrepreneur and writer. He blogs at Deadpan Thoughts.
The views expressed by this blogger and in the following reader comments do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of the Dawn Media Group.
great post, i enjoyed the world cup so much this year it didn’t live up to the excitement of previous WC but it was still great. Ghana where the highlight for me shame they went out to a “handball”
GOO SPAIN!.. they where clearly the better team than portugal..
I can’t believe what happened with France today. That was totally awesome!
This article help people know the Pakistani Players well,if they dont know them and one can easily understand the taste of the Pakistani team.
Great humour and wit
What a great game, I can’t believe Spain did that.
Loving the cup, Go USA. These refs are terrible however.
I like the way the Pakistani Players are compared !!!!
Good keep it up …
Well composed article….nice fusion!!
Awsum Dude…….I Like The Way You Compared The ‘Two Totally Opposite Ends Of A Rope’…..:P………..I Especially Loved The Part Where You Reminded Us Of Misbah’s ‘paddle-scoop of disaster against India’
Not happy with Imran Khan analogy to Germany. For me Imran represents pinnacle of Pakistani cricket.. He has to be Brazil..In his hey days his fan base was bigger than that of Akram. Only thing is that Akram is freshes in our memory.
Also where is Javed Miandad.. If any one he represents Germany for his grit and determination.
For me as a non-Pakistani both Imran and Javed represent the pinnacle of Pakistani cricket. Rest all come next. Guess for majority of Pakistani fans Akram represent the same. Can’t complain on that though since Akram is a personal favorite too..
Wonder what the Pakistani clergy has to say about the “people’s game”.
I think the lack of interest in Football in South Asia may have to do with not just the money alone, but teh Genetic Make up of the people and type of stamina we have. We all know that Football requires alot of Footwork and leg work. For that you must be a Good runner, and people of African Background are the best Marathon runners, people are Ronaldo, and Ronaldhino of Brazil the best Football players actually are African by ethnicity. Also the Europeans have good stamina as well. Food we eat may have something to do with Stamina and legwork. Our crickets may be good at hitting the ball while Standing, but the legwork, and running after a ball, fielding is weak, compared to Euros/Australians/South Africans.
Samething with Football, alot of stamina and food that gives you good running. Until we change our eating habbits, we may not be good at Football, it requires alot of running.
Ill tell you what, if there is anything that’s a genetic impediment at all, it is our tendency to be little ourself and link up everything to “genetic makeup”. No wonder we don’t create the required support for our.
Good analysis……..
Zain very good Observation keep it up…but our people can’t understand these things.
We were good at hockey some time. Its the cricket craze that doesn’t let us go into other games. We are good at something atleast by which people know us.. cricket! regarding football, I will say we need national interest to become good footballers, not good food.
interesting read!
Well in this tournament England should be compared to Kamran Akmal. Butterfingers galore!
It is well written. Why could not India, and Pakistan be in the group of 32 teams? Even small countries like Serbia, Mali, etc could find place in the top 32 teams. Football is a poor man’s game while cricket is a rich man’s game. All you need to play football is an open field, and a football. These are available in both the countries. They lost their superiority in field hockey too all because of the madness created by well to do in favour of cricket. I may even say abolish cricket and develop players in all the other sporting events. Cricket is not played in most of the countries.
Hey notrevealed,,,,,,,, Well, your question is Why not India & Pakistan??? Perhaps they play too much Cricket.. Perhaps Pakistanis are too good in Field Hockey.
Simple awesome!!!
loved it
For those who love football, should try out Fifa 10.
Cmon bro !! how can you balance soccer and cricket at same time.
Its FOOTBALL mate
Points to Faisal for attempting to write about the World Cup in a different light than the norm. But apart from that, the article is just poor and not funny (if it was intended to be)
It seems in Pakistan everything is relative to India or India linked object, even current article written with an object of linking Pakistani Cricket Players with FIFA 2010 world cup teams mentions India or India linked objects thrice.
Why would we do that?
You have a point here.Good!
The question is miss directed at me. You may please. ask this question to Mr. Faisal Kapadia.
@ Rahul.We two and other Indians are reading this Pakistani newpaper and taking part in Pakistan-related discussions in large numbers.In contrast,there are hardly a few Pakistanis doing the same on Indian news blogs.So lets not self-contradict ourselves and make ourselves look hypocrites.In general,let these people do what they are doing and never be harsh towards them for any reason.
By the way, Pakistanis are also welcome to do the same we are doing over here on Indian news-blogs.See you!
Sorry brother, I am a regular visitor of times of India and read blogs there but sorry to say 99 out of 100 times I see hate related comments against Pakistan. Whether news is about Israeli and Palestine or about chain, weather is about USA aid or any sport news; I have observed that Indian people don’t spare any chance to attack Pakistan and its people verbally. Then what do you expect from us. We do read your news papers but I think it’s better to keep quite rather than make counter comments at your platform.
What did you expect Shahid, you expect Indians to hold out roses for Pakistan?
we don’t expect roses from you Rajivan but we don’t expect thorns either. So lets be neutral to whatever you read here.
India is our brother, though step. how can we leave it
Why step????
this proves that you dont have any knowledge about football and that you only follow football after every four years when the world cup comes ………………… so cricket can be compared to football at any level if you follow football all year round you wouldnt had dared to write such a blog
Great comparisons, very interesting….
Soccer is a poor mans game beautiful,played all around the globe….any nook and corner of this globe……how can some one compare cricket (for that matter any sport) to soccer……come on man
Did you see the game today between Argentina and N. Korea? Messes up your ranking!!
Good stuff ,enjoyed it.
I think Austrailia in cricket is very much like Germany in football.
Portugal is almost like Pakistani team because it has a lot of attitude even though losing the game. There are many teams in the Soccer World Cup which we can compare to Pakistani cricket team only in one condition if they lose. Because the winner’s teams will not have any kind of qualities which Pakistan Cricket team does have. I am very optimistic that Pakistan cricket team will win this coming world cup in next century.
Since the football fever is all around, I would like to ask a question that why don’t we, Pak & Ind. don’t have football teams. The main reason I think is cricket and our politics has sucked the talent out of these nations. Similar is the case with Hockey, and a few other sports we used to play.
Good stuff Faisal.
It hurts when football is compared with cricket, cricket is not game or team play,it is a fun show for advertisers and bookies
Nice one Faisal…Wt abt the rest of the teams???
A very well written article. I agree with the comparison of the author. Interesting to read. Thanks